Homeless

I work in a bookstore, and today we got a visit by one of the local homeless people. This man is a war veteran and, I think he has PTSD and schizophrenia. I occasionally see him walking around town talking (and sometimes shouting) to himself, he has said before that this helps mute the voices in his head. These actions make a lot of people uncomfortable around him and they usually avoid eye contact and look away when he tries to talk to them. Which is sad, because it seems like he is honestly a nice person.

So today, I was working with my boss, just shelving books, and he came in and said hello and then told us to not worry because "we're not angry today" (referring to himself and the voices inside his head). He then continued to try to talk to my boss, who was mostly ignoring him but he just kept on talking, in broken sentences that for the most part didn't make sense. This went on for a few minutes, then my boss announced that she had to get back to work in an effort to get away from the homeless man. He saw this as a chance to go talk to one of the families who was in the store, who eventually left with disgusted and disgruntled expressions on their faces.

The man then came over and started to talk to me, stating that if the world ended right now or if he died he would not be punished, because he has done nothing wrong, that he is a good man. My boss then proceeded to tell him that I had to get back to work and that I couldn't talk. He replied, saying that I was his family and that he need to just check if I was okay, then he left. I am in no way related to this man, I think that by "family" he just meant that I act like family, and that he is thankful that I listen, unlike most people in my small town. He knows that a lot of people do not really like having him around, I think that he made this last statement in attempt to show his gratitude.

One thing that stuck with me was that when he told me that he has done nothing wrong, he looked sad. It seemed like he knows that people are scared of him because of his schizophrenia and his appearance (missing teeth, messy beard and hair, dirty clothing). By saying that he would not be punished for anything, he could have been acknowledging that fact to me, I think that he just wants to be accepted by those around him. OR, since he fought in the war and probably killed people, he could be saying that because he dearly wants it to be true. Either way, it was obvious that he was glad that someone listened.

In general, people are afraid of the homeless. They decide to avert their eyes when they see a beggar, it makes them feel better to just ignore their fellow suffering human being. I will admit that in some situations it is better to avoid some people because there are some humans out there in the world who are dangerous, but not all homeless people fall into that category. Not all people who live in the streets are bad people! Just because someone looks dirty and is not clean shaven doesn't automatically make them evil, a murderer, or a druggie. Just like the fact that a person wearing a suit does not automatically mean that they are people to be trusted.

Appearance is not everything.